This quote seems to speak to the concept of wellness and a holistic approach to living.  It encourages adults to do what children instinctively know which is to live in the moment and engage in their environment.  Children are naturally drawn to positivity,  enthusiastically express joy and curiosity and question their place in the world.  The greatest gift we can give them is to embrace these amazing instincts. 

Approaching the health and well-being of a child in a holistic way means nurturing a child’s physical, emotional, cognitive and spiritual development and recognizing that each part of a child’s development affects another.  It means integrating our approaches so that we can nurture their minds, bodies and spirits.  If we seek to serve the whole child, we create a basis for wellness.  We focus on what we want to cultivate and nurture.  We work with children from a place of strength and appreciation for their individual gifts and needs. 

 MIND

Nurturing a child’s mind means first and foremost accepting your child’s individuality.  It means understanding that everyone has their own temperament, personality and learning preferences.  The basis for a healthy mind is self-esteem.  By accepting your child , giving unconditional love and modeling self-respect,  your child is then free to accept himself and begin to explore his world in his own way.

Children instinctively want to learn so engage them in this process and most importantly make it fun!  Nature walks, trips to the museum, board games and the playground are wonderful opportunities to bond with your child while encouraging the development of awareness, concentration, logical thinking, problem solving and social skills. Children are naturally curious, so allow them to question and explore.  Encourage the process not the result which builds confidence, independence and resiliency.  Ask open-ended questions, give choices, encourage your child to make predictions so that he may become an independent thinker.  Explore the concept of natural consequences so that children see the connection between actions and outcomes and can develop personal responsibility.  Set appropriate limits and create structure so that your child feels safe in the learning process. 

Children are emotional beings.  Create an environment that is accepting of emotions, teaches children  to name their feelings and support them in developing healthy ways to express themselves.  Be fully present when children express their feelings.  Often parents and other adults rush to problem solve for children or correct their behavior.  Instead, listen to what they are telling you through their words or behavior and reflect back those emotions.  Saying  to a child “Wow, you seem really frustrated that you can’t play with your new toy right now.” validates the child’s feelings and experience.  This type of active listening helps children slow down and connect to their emotions.  It builds trust and credibility which allows the adult to better help them work through situations.  Modeling positive self-expression through I statements is another wonderful way to encourage emotional development.  For example, saying “I feel disappointed when people don’t follow the family rules.” is a more positive way to deal with a situation than saying “I’ve told you the rules a million times and you still didn’t follow them.”  Reading stories about emotions, self-expression, self-esteem or difficult life events is a way to engage children  in an exploration of emotions and behavior in a nonthreatening way.  Tapping into children’s creativity and providing them opportunities to express their emotions through art, play or writing is another encouraging approach.

BODY

Creating a lifestyle that encourages physical wellness incorporates several things.  First, physical activity on a daily basis is an important component.  Physical activities can take many forms.  It can be as simple as riding one’s bike around the neighborhood or participating in an organized sport.  Most physical activity has the potential to increase endurance, enhance gross or fine motor skills development and improve overall physical health.  To fully experience the benefit of physical activity it should be tailored to your child.  Young children love to play hide n seek, tag and duck duck goose.  These are wonderful games that encourage physical activity while having fun with your friends or family. Taking a hike with your child offers the opportunity to get exercise while connecting with your child and engaging in your environment.  Activities like yoga help children develop mind-body awareness.   Martial Arts can teach confidence, dedication and respect for the world around you..  Team sports promotes teamwork, commitment, and responsibility and encourages a sense of belonging.

Nutrition is obviously another important component in a child’s physical well-being.  Educating children about the importance of nutrition can be a fun experience for everyone involved.  Read books on food and nutrition, take children grocery shopping, visit local farms or markets and allow them to help prepare meals.  Encourage your children to notice the color, texture, smell and taste of foods.  Make mealtime a happy, calm time to enjoy your food and engage with your family.

Another, often overlooked factor, is the impact of sensitivities and allergies on a child’s physical well-being.  Be aware of the impact of environmental toxins, such as pesticides, seasonal allergies, food allergies or food sensitivities on a child’s health.  The impact of these are often subtle but can lead to physical and emotional distress.

Finally, help children develop an understanding of and an appreciation for their bodies.  Mediation and energy therapies can help children feel connected to their bodies and understand the impact of emotional and environmental stressors on their physical well-being.  Empower children to feel in control of their bodies and confident in setting limits.  Promote a positive body image and recognition of the many gifts that physical health provides. 

SPIRIT

In our busy world we are often rushing from one activity to another, thinking about what we need to do next rather than focusing on what we are doing at that moment.  In order to nurture our children’s spirits we must allow time for quiet. To see what comes to us in moments of stillness and reflection. To be fully in the present and engaged.. Encourage your child’s spiritual development by encouraging self expression.  Ask children questions (what do they see, hear, feel), and connect emotions to situations.  Talk about values and provide opportunities to model them to your child and for them to share their values with others.  Respect your child’s individuality and encourage authenticity. Talk about intuition and teach them to recognize and listen to their inner voice. 

Nurturing our children’s spirits also means helping them to understand their connection to the world at large.   Help them see the similarities in people while developing an appreciation for their differences.  Encourage compassion by seeing the good in people. Develop empathy by asking children how they would feel in someone else’s situation.   Express gratitude, even on the tough days.   Find ways to be of service to others.  This can be as simple as helping a family member with homework or volunteering at a charitable program.  Talk about and engage in activities that support the spiritual/religious values of your family.  Play outside and feel connected to nature. 

One of the beautiful things about childhood is that given the opportunity children are open to new and imaginative ways of doing things.  Holistic approaches such as guided imagery, meditation, play and art therapy, Reiki and yoga are wonderful tools to help children get in touch with their physical and emotional needs.  They support a young body’s natural ability to heal and enhance a child’s innate desire to grow and succeed.  By helping children identify their feelings, understand their behavior, connect to their bodies, express their needs and explore their beliefs, we empower them to grow into strong, healthy, able individuals.  They will become individuals who can experience joy and who are resilient; they will become whole.

A wonderful way to counteract our inclination towards negativity is the use of Affirmations.  Affirmations are positive statements that we repeat to ourselves.  Over time, affirmations help us to feel content in the present and to reach our goals in the future.  Affirmations can be written, spoken or a combination of both.  Affirmations should always be written in a positive form.  For example, if you are trying to change your eating habits you could say “I am eating healthy to nourish my body” rather than “I am not going to eat junk food”.  Affirmations should always be written and spoken in the present tense.  For example, you would say “I am calm and at peace” not “One day I will be calm and at peace”.   Finally, affirmations should be written or spoken with confidence and your full attention and should be repeated throughout the day. 

Once you decide to use affirmations, pick one thing that you would like to improve or feel.  For example, if you are feeling overwhelmed and are finding it difficult to complete the many tasks for which you are responsible, your goal might be to feel calm or in control.  Start by imagining what it would feel like to be calm or to check off everything on your to-do list.  Imagine what it would look like if you accomplished the things that you want to accomplish.  Once this vision is firmly in your mind, create an affirmation that is a reflection of the image and feeling.  Possible affirmations could be ”My mind is calm.”, “I am in control.”, or “All that I do is enough.”  Write this affirmation and post it somewhere that you can see and then repeat it to yourself throughout the day. 

If you are having trouble getting started, here are sample affirmations that you can use or adapt to suit you:

• I am surrounded by love.
• I am in control of my thoughts.
• I trust my inner wisdom.
• The past is gone and I live only in the present.
• I am beautiful.
• I am my best self.
• I love and accept myself.
• I am all that I need to be.
• I am a loving parent.
• I eat to nourish my body.
• I am healthy.
• I am the perfect weight for myself.
• I am filled with energy.
• I have all the resources that I need.
• My business is prosperous
• My home is safe.
• I am open to what life brings to me.

The beauty of affirmations is that they are simple, can be used for any area of your life and can be used at any time.  Affirmations can change how you feel in the moment and can create a shift in your thinking that will lead you to an openness of spirit, new experiences and success.  Once you begin, you will be amazed at the power of positive thinking.

Once you begin identifying your resolutions or goals keep a few things in mind:

• Create goals that are realistic.  You can’t run a marathon before you can run a mile.  Identify areas you and your children would like to improve and create attainable steps in the process.
• Identify goals that are developmentally and age appropriate and suit your family.  What is right for one child or family isn’t necessarily right for another.
• Set goals that are specific and measurable so that you are able to recognize and reward progress.
• Resolve to laugh more, increase family activities like reading together or playing games and catch your kids being good.   In addition to adding fun to your lives these resolutions  will increase family communication, strengthen relationships and build self-esteem. 
• Finally, as a parent/caregiver differentiate between self-care and selfishness.  People often don’t do things for themselves because they believe it to be selfish and instead focus on the needs and desires of others.  In order to be your best self and have the physical and emotional energy to care for others, you must first care for yourself.  Keep in mind one of the first safety rules you are given when you fly:  always put the oxygen mask on yourself first!

 Best wishes for a healthy and happy new year!

Holiday stress can be caused by both external and internal factors. External factors can include financial worries, time constraints and a multitude of commitments. Internal factors can include perfectionism, negative self-talk and unrealistic expectations. While the impact of stress varies from person to person, it can lead to sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, depressed mood, anxiety and physical ailments. Any of these difficulties can dampen your enjoyment of the season. To combat these problems, here are a few strategies that may help you have a more relaxed and pleasant holiday season:

Be Realistic

Heightened expectations can get us into trouble during the holiday season.  We often think that things need to be perfect – the perfect decorations, meals and gifts.  We are inundated with images of fancy feasts on meticulously set tables, happy families opening a bounty of gifts and children exclaiming with joy as they open the one thing they’ve always wanted.  The reality is that our lives remain the same during the holidays as they are the rest of the year – filled with work, school, family issues and financial worries.  Be honest with yourself about what you can afford and what you have time to do.  Decide ahead of time what is realistic for you and your family and plan accordingly.  Overspending can lead to more stress down the road, and trying to do more than is reasonable can lead you to feel overwhelmed.  Prioritize what is truly important for you and let go of the rest.

Plan Ahead

A little organization can go a long way.  Make to-do lists and shopping lists to keep track of what you need to do and what you have accomplished.  Make a budget and stick to it.  Do a little research ahead of time to minimize trips to the store and reduce shopping impulsiveness and indecisiveness.  When children will be with you for shopping or to attend holiday functions, make sure you plan for their well-being. In order to avoid meltdowns, keep children engaged and fed and manage the time for these activities so that it is appropriate for their age and abilities.

Keep a Routine

While shopping, decorating, baking and attending parties can be fun, they can lead to the disruption of your family routine when added to an already busy schedule.  For children this can be unsettling and lead to sleep and behavioral issues.  To minimize the impact of these additions to your schedule, try to maintain some of your family routines – homework time, family dinners and bedtime routines. The stability of these structures will help children manage the chaos of the holiday season.

Be Flexible

This may seem like a contradiction of the previous suggestions, but we all know the old adage about the best laid plans. Flexibility can be defined as the ability to withstand stress without injury.  In terms of our holiday planning, we can become frustrated and stuck when things do not go as planned, or we can stay positive and adapt to the change.  So, take a deep breath, think about what you want or need out of the situation and create a new plan.  Welcome opportunities to be surprised, as sometimes our greatest enjoyment is found in the unexpected. 

Quiet Time

Take a break from the hustle and bustle of the season to just be quiet.  Sit quietly and practice deep breathing before getting out of bed in the morning. Take ten minutes in between activities to sip a cup of tea. Pause for a moment of prayer or silence before dinner.   At the end of the day, try reading together as a family.

Eat Healthy & Exercise

During the holiday season we are often eating on the go, increasing our intake of sugar, refined carbohydrates, alcohol and caffeine and/or skipping meals or overeating. Our exercise routines often go by the wayside as we feel more crunched for time.  These changes in diet and exercise can lead to fatigue, mood fluctuations and a decreased ability to handle stress. Maintaining a balanced, nutritious diet and exercising are two excellent ways to minimize the impact of stress.

Gratitude

Gratitude is simply the recognition of something you appreciate.  Sometimes amongst the commercialism of the holiday season, the simple things get lost.  As our stress levels increase, so can our pessimistic thoughts.  This can include feelings of failure, comparisons with others and disappointment in what we cannot have or cannot do.  Research has shown that people who are able to experience gratitude experience a decrease in stress, sleep better and feel happier.  We often associate gratitude during the holidays with big things – our family events, the gifts/food we receive. Recognizing and appreciating the everyday things are important too. Be grateful for the parking space in the overcrowded lot, the friendly salesperson who made shopping just a little easier and the “I love you” as you kiss your child goodnight after a busy day. 

Have Fun

No matter how busy you are, remember to enjoy this time.  Baking cookies can be a chore that you have to get done or it can be a fun activity with your child.  Focus on really being present in the activities that you are doing with your family, and make the most of them, rather than just going through the motions because it is something you need to check off your list.  Smile, laugh, be silly and enjoy the time with your family and the traditions that you share.

*This article can also be found in the Dec/Jan issue of Frederick’s Child magazine.

Grateful – A Song of Giving Thanks

written by John Bucchino – illustrated by Anna-Liisa Hakkarainen – vocal by Art Garfunkel

This beautifully illustrated children’s book and cd is a celebration of life’s blessings.  Acknowledging that life is sometimes difficult, the song offers children and adults alike the hope that through gratitude, faith and positive thinking we can overcome difficulties and find joy.   This can be a  wonderful book for quiet family time during the holiday season.  It also can be a conversation starter for parents or caregivers  with anxious or depressed children as they support their children to find ways to cope with their feelings.  As the author’s dedication suggests, this is a book for “all those who choose love instead of fear”.